I was one of those teens who wrote fanfiction (ok, I kept at it until I was in my 20’s but who’s counting). It was like therapy. It gave me freedom to explore different angles to a single problem, to air my insecurities and forge a world where I could walk out of trouble smartly and with hair almost intact. I channeled a lot of Hermione Granger and Legolas Greenleaf back then.
Favorite genres were angst (because teenager), horror, tragedy, and even thriller when I was feeling pretentious. I loved writing in general, but there was one thing about writing fanfiction one shots that was like magic: The things I wrote became true.
Before you laugh, consider someone who reads tarot cards for its therapeutic and insightful properties (I highly recommend this article if you’re curious why and how people do this). More than looking at the cards for the future, you attempt to understand the present, which may let you see patterns and pretty accurately guess what happens after. I became more open to my gut feeling through fanfiction. It was a way to lay out changes in the immediate environment which my subconscious was picking up.
Then, when something happened, I’d remember the latest piece I had put up on fanfiction.net and nod. Of course it did, I saw this coming.
It’s perhaps one of the reasons I stayed away from writing for so long. Maybe, along the fear of failure, there was a fear of seeing. Because once I decided to open that vein again, there might be things lurking in the shadows, waiting to come out, so that the next time something happens which finds its way to my notebook first, I will have nowhere to hide that of course it did.
I saw this coming.