For a long time, I envied the ease of cool people. I associated being cool (as in vaguely cold and disinterested) with a lack of worry and a greater distance from disappointment. So, from time to time, I tried it out. I put on my poker face when I met people, toned down my reactions to things I found interesting, or outright hid them, and kept my quirks to myself as much as I could.

Only I realized that it did not make me happy at all. I was at my happiest moments when I expressed myself freely about what I liked and disliked, and when the people around me felt just as intensely about whatever topic they were interested in, and showed it.

It could be a part of getting older. Maybe I’m just cultivating a healthy dose of not giving a f*** about appealing to everybody. Either way it feels good to make the conscious decision of giving up on trying to be cool, and looking for environments and people who foster this freedom.

Isn’t life too short to waste it denying that we like what we like for the sake of appearing more interesting? And isn’t life too long to live pretending that we are somebody else?

 

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